no more sleep walking
no more baggage
I feel there's so much I carry with me; maybe from a past life, maybe engrained in me by parental figures. I am done with the ritualistic and nearly automated responses to everything in my life.
I take responsibility for my actions, however, I don't fully understand why I have the equal emotional reactions to similar situations. Jealousy, bitterness, hatred, ill-will.
Like in my yoga practice.
No more going through the motions, sleep walking, aware-less-ness.
Intention and response and awareness all of the time. Exhausting my mental faculties, if necessary.
Considering emotional or irrational responses. Understanding and accepting that I am only human, and breaking bad habits takes time and practice. Offering myself options of how to respond. Practicing patience.
Something I talk about a lot recently. It makes me feel good. As if I don't need to have everything [or anything] figured out. Maybe not now, maybe never. Maybe someday. Still, allowing a margin.
Ceasing to live in a patterned state, blindly following the circle I've trampled down in the grass. Moving towards the outer edges of my emotions and cognitive awareness.
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