13 September 2012

up hill both ways

keep your chin up buttercup.
just smile, sunshine.

the longer you smile, the more my heart hurts.
just don't fall into indifference.

once, i loved it enough to invest two years of my life doing nothing but it.
once, i loved it enough to sign my financial future over to doing it.
i trusted myself to make it work.  hurting everyday i don't put efforts towards making it work.  
overwhelmed with guilt and overcome with homesickness.


as december tippy toes closer and closer, i feel the crushing weight of loan payment responsibilities.  i think about my un-visited studio. i wonder what i'd be making if i'd never stopped.  i wonder what i'll make when i start making again.

keep your chin up.
this isn't as good as it get.

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