So.

Weeks ago, I was contacted by one of my deans at Pafa. A proposal came in the form of an e-mail; it almost seemed too good to be true. An offer came from Anthropologie: for starters, Pafa faculty was asked to nominated select students. We were then asked if we were interested in submitting clothing patterns/designs to be selected by Anthropologie which would then made into clothing - to sell in stores. I reluctantly responded that I would be interested in trying my hand at pattern design. Shortly after we returned from Winter break, I was told to come pick up my fabric from Anne's office. I marched up there - or down, rather, for some reason whenever I use an elevator to go floor to floor, I think it's going up.

Anyway, I picked the black jersey (instead of the canvas-colored option). It had a skirt outline traced on it - a square with hips, basically. It had pockets on the bum. I thought it was kind of short for an Anthro silhouette, but got to work nonetheless.

Cut to 2 days later: I've ruined my black fabric. I throw it out, and go get the canvas colored fabric. It worked a little bit better, but I still struggled with the design of it. I didn't want to put one of my paintings, literally, on this skirt. I felt that would cheapen my oil paintings. I was rushed in working on it, and was trying to wait for it to dry in between layers. My head was somewhere torn between pattern and painting, and clothing and art... It was hard. A challenge to say the least.

Second week in February: I see Anne in the lobby of the 4th floor, her arms full of rolled up student pattern submissions. The Anthro reps have just left; they made their selection. She sees me as the elevator door closes, nods her head yes and says quietly, "Anthropologie. You - " And the door closed. I think she said "got it." Oh my God, I almost died.

3 minutes later, I got a call from Pafa's main number. It was Anne. I did get it. I was picked. I couldn't believe it. They actually want to make my pattern into a piece of clothing to sell in their stores! Turns out they loved so many of the patterns, they picked 3 student works, including mine.

So it's gone off to some other country (unfortunately) to be manufactured (hand painted is the word they keep using. Good luck copying this:). My bio and inspiration has been written and turned in, to be formatted on a cute little Anthro tag and hung on my garment. It will be available in Anthropologie stores in June or July 2012. How amazing is that?! That's my big news for the year.

I am so excited.

And so honored to be picked.

And I cannot wait to see it in the flesh.

Here's to more opportunities like this!

struggling to unite the pattern...

it is a continuous pattern from left to right >>>

back panel

front panel

Meet: Zooey

Sometimes a new puppy is just enough to help you push past all the bullshit you deal with on a daily basis. Zooey isn't our pup, but we'll be seeing her often (just not at 4am when she needs to go out!)

Painting on Wednesday

Photos from finished animations.

full video, in progress

Once upon a time,

I was a girl who couldn't stand jeans under the covers.

Then I could.

Now, I can't again.

Shoes go without saying.

My shoes are on, and under the blanket on the couch.

It's all I can think about.

spending time alone

Sometime I can't get over how beautiful the swirls of oil paint look on my broken glass pallet.

Sometime I don't like how hard I have try to make intelligible art.

Sometimes the inside of my terp jar is perfect.

Sometimes I notice pigment caught in my linseed oil.

Sometimes I hate painting.

But what I love more is the feeling when I'm lost deep in making a painting.

How every mark I make can hold potential perfection. I love dancing around, considering the invincible nature of the artist. Then I sit down and look,

and analyze, and think about what a critical eye might say.

And I cover it all up.

Being alone is hard.

Being alone is hard, because sometimes I don't know what "they" would say about what I do.

It's difficult to comprehend how I was supposed to learn how to be alone,

and how I'm supposed to have developed that inner voice that helps the alone-ness.

Being alone is hard.

I've been feeling a sense of urgency

It's been strange. The past few weeks, when I'm not sharing coffee and girl stories with some neighboring MFAs, I've been flying around making and doing. I've started another 10-15 paintings, that will be waiting for me on Monday. For the first week officially back in the studio, I spent most of my time working on a side project that I will not be disclosing unless something comes of it. I am optimistic, but no expectations!

My space application for my MFA thesis show is due on the 15th. That's a little bit stressful; thinking about exactly what I'm hanging in the show. Stressful and terrifying. However, again, I'm optimistic.